Feel
by MoonlightSpirit
Summary: Eli and Clare's first time. Clare is frightened and unsure, scared she'll lose Eli like KC. But Eli is not KC. The pain, the fright, the anticipation, the exhilaration...who knew one person could feel so much? Songfic to 'Cut' by Plumb.


**I first heard this song on the show **_**The Vampire Diaries **_**and thought it fit Eclare well. The song is **_**Cut **_**by Plumb.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or the song **_**Cut**_**.**

Eli and I laid on his bed, sharing long kisses. We had finally finished cleaning his room this week and, as a bit of a celebration – and because his parents were out at a concert for the night – I was spending the night. I told my parents I would be sleeping over at Alli's and she promised to cover for me.

Eli's warm hands glided over my hips, skimming the exposed skin where my blouse had ridden up. I let out a small gasp. Sure, we had made out before – my mom had even put me on the pill. "Just in case," is how she put it - but hands were always kept above the clothes. The feeling was exhilarating, but at the same time, terrifying.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked, his green eyes full of concern.

"Yeah," I breathed, "Fine." To tell the truth, I was scared out of my mind. I had been close with KC – albeit, not like I am with Eli – and he had hurt me. A small part of me couldn't help but worry about losing Eli too.

_I'm not a stranger_

_No, I am yours_

_With crippled anger_

_And tears that still drip sore_

_A fragile frame aged with misery_

"No your not," Eli murmured, "What's wrong?" He could read me so well.

"I'm…scared," I whispered softly, "Of losing you." Eli gave me a small smile, kissing my forehead.

"I'm right here Clare," he said, running a hand through my auburn curls, "I'm not going anywhere." He stared at me with those intense green eyes and I could feel the fear ebbing away.

_And when our eyes meet, I know you see_

_I do not want to be afraid_

_I do not want to die inside just to breathe in_

His lips met mine again and an explosion of passion erupted inside of me. Suddenly, it was like I couldn't be close enough to him.

_I'm tired of feeling so numb_

_Relief exists, I find it when I am cut_

Feeling bold, I let my hands slip under Eli's black shirt, my fingers skimming across his abs. Eli's lips left mine as a groan escaped his lips.

"Feeling bold are we?" he asked with a smirk. I blushed.

"D-Do you want me to stop?" I muttered.

"No," Eli murmured, "It feels nice." His lips captured mine again as my hands traveled farther up his chest. Soon, his shirt was discarded to the floor, leaving me to marvel at his pale skin.

_I may seem crazy_

_Or painfully shy_

I felt Eli's hands fiddle with the first few buttons on my blouse and stiffened. Eli paused, our lips parting as I looked into his eyes. I'm sure my eyes reflected my own fear at what was coming. Fear of what was about to happen. My shyness took over again and I suddenly felt like crawling into a corner to hide.

"We can stop," Eli said. I shook my head, banishing my fears to the corners of my mind. This was Eli, not KC. He wouldn't hurt me.

"No," I said, "It's okay."

_And these scars wouldn't be so hidden if you would just look me in the eye_

_I feel alone here and cold here_

_Though I don't want to die_

_But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside_

Soon, my shirt joined Eli's on the floor. His rolled us over so that he was on top of me, his hands running over my newly exposed skin.

"You're so beautiful," Eli murmured, staring down at me. He kissed me again, and soon, the rest of out clothes joined the shirts on the floor.

By now, I could feel my body shaking. I was nervous and scared and anxious and exhilarated all at the same time. I had never been like this with a boy. I had no idea what to do. And yet my body craved for Eli is a way I had never experienced before.

_I do not want to be afraid_

_I do not want to die inside just to breathe in_

_I'm tired of feeling so numb_

_Relief exists, I find it when I am cut_

Eli laced his fingers through my own, kissing my knuckles.

"Clare, you're trembling," he whispered. I watched my pale hand shake slightly in his own.

"Eli, I…I'm not sure what to do…" I said slowly, not sure how to word the emotions I was feeling at the moment.

"Don't think," Eli whispered, "Just…_feel_." He kissed me once more. A long, sensual, tender kiss.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whisper against my lips.

"Yes," I whispered, kissing him once more. Eli paused for a moment, then suddenly thrust into me. A fierce pain ripped through my body. I gripped onto Eli, like he was the only thing holding me to this world. I knew it would hurt, but I didn't think it would be this bad.

_Pain_

_I am not alone_

_I am not alone_

"I'm sorry," Eli murmured, kissing away the tears that had escaped my eyes, "I'm sorry." The pain ebbed away and soon, pleasure took its place. The feeling of Eli inside of me…it was better than anything I could have ever imagined.

_Not a stranger_

_No, I am yours_

_With crippled anger_

_And tears that still drip sore_

Eli slowly moved and, after a while, I found myself matching his thrusts. Our bodies moved together, moans and whispers filling the dark room. My nails raked across his back as his name passed my lips in a strangled moan. It was like the world had melted away and all I could feel was Eli moving, with me, _in me_.

_But I do not want to be afraid_

_I do not want to die inside just to breathe in_

My climax hit me like a wave rolling through my body. I felt Eli follow me soon after, his body shaking before he collapsed beside me.

_I'm tired of feeling so numb_

He pulled out of me, brushing my now sweaty curls out of my face.

"Wow," I said, breathless. Eli smiled at me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I smiled up at him, giving him a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I'm wonderful," I whispered, snuggling into his chest.

"I love you Clare," he said, stroking my cheek softly. My heart seemed to soar at his words and my smile widened.

"I love you too Eli," I said as we shared another kiss.

_Relief exists, I found it when_

_I was cut_

**So there's **_**Feel**_**. I hope you liked it! Please Review!**


End file.
